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THE DAY THEY KIDNAPPED CLEOPATRA

By Mark Jones, Anne Collins, Chris Bunch and Allan Cole


Troy and Dillon are going to see Dr. Mortinson. They are going to give him important documents to present to a nuclear disarmament committee. Meanwhile, the villain Xaviar is in Alexandria, Egypt, in 43 B.C. He has been romancing Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt, and has convinced her to marry him. She believes he is a god, but her high priest is not convinced. Cleopatra is determined to prove he is a god, so she poisons his wine, convinced he will not be harmed. When she tells Xaviar, he is stunned and afraid. Still acting like a god, he says he must return to the land of the gods for a short while and she must come with him. They get on his viper and time-warp away.

Xaviar and Cleopatra land in Los Angeles, and she is awed by the sights. They go to a hotel where Xaviar phones Jamie and tells her that she must get Troy and Dillon at once. The three of them arrive at the hotel where Xaviar surrenders his laser and promises to return to the Galactica if they will help him find an antidote for the poison. While Troy and Jamie are to take Xaviar to a doctor, Dillon will return Cleopatra to the past. As the trio talk, Xaviar tells Cleopatra to escape from Dillon whenever she can and meet him at the Museum of Natural History. Cleopatra ditches Dillon by switching elevators at the last moment. Dillon runs down the stairs at super-speed, but Cleopatra hails a cab and gets away. Dillon interrogates the hotel doorman about her destination, then hails a cab and heads to the museum.

Cleopatra arrives at the museum and is stunned to see an exhibit that says she will die from a snake bite. She breaks down in tears and becomes hysterical. Dillon is arrested when he tries to drag her away. Two archeologists, Johnson and Williams, become intrigued with Cleopatra's ability to read hieroglyphics and hope that she might be able to decipher some ancient scrolls that give the location of Cleopatra's tomb and treasure.

Dillon escapes from the guards and looks for a phone. Xaviar is cured at the hospital, but he grabs a scalpel and threatens to kill Jamie if Troy doesn't return his laser and let him go. Troy gives him the laser, then a fracas ensues, and Troy is shot and stunned. He comes to just as Dillon phones with news that Cleopatra has escaped. Dillon finds out that Cleopatra is at a posh Beverly Hills party with Johnson and Williams.

On the Galactica, Dr. Zee tells Adama that if Cleopatra is not returned to her own time, Egypt will be conquered, causing a chain of events that will cause North America to be discovered a century late, and the present will be equivalent to the Dark Ages.

Troy, Dillon, and Jamie crash the party and are seen by Mr. Brooks, Jamie's boss. Troy and Dillon find Cleopatra and implore her to let them take her back to Egypt. Xaviar suddenly appears and confronts them. Then Mr. Brooks, Jamie, and a camera crew arrive for an interview. Xaviar and Cleopatra dash for a car while Troy, Dillon, and Jamie mount their turbocycles and head after them. Xaviar and Cleopatra reach their Viper and time-warp into the past. Troy, Dillon, and Jamie board their vipers and time-warp also, arriving in ancient Egypt. They find Xaviar and he pulls out his laser, threatening to kill Cleopatra if they don't surrender. Cleopatra realizes that a god would not fight this way, so she tries to disarm Xaviar. The laser goes off and she is stunned. Xaviar gets away. Dillon sees a map on a table and has Jamie photograph it. Moments after they leave, Cleopatra awakens and tells her high priest that she just had the strangest dream.

Back in the present, Professor Johnson opens an anonymous letter and can't believe the photograph enclosed: It's the map to Cleopatra's tomb!


The title was inspired by the play The Day They Kidnapped The Pope.

The producers had begun shooting this script when Galactica 1980 was cancelled.

As silly and stupid as this script is, it still probably would have been better than most of the produced episodes of Galactica 1980.

Copies of this script have been made available to the public. You can sometimes find it at Ebay auctions.


Unproduced Battlestar Galactica And Galactica 1980 Scripts

Enter Sheba's Galaxy